There’s obviously a reason they gave this stuff to fighter pilots in World War II. Most of the time I was quite focused and lucid (albeit jittery and fast-talking). This might just look like mild paranoia or unstable mood in some, or – especially combined with the sleep defects – legitimate psychosis to the point of resembling schizophrenia. It will, however, slowly but surely eat away at your sanity. Keep your life, lose your mindĭespite what the extremists might tell you, meth alone will not kill you or cause you to overdose unless maybe you have some incredibly inconvenient preexisting heart condition. Dual-addiction will, however, speed (har har) that process up typically.
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The problem with that is the potential to that bottom and surrender to the fact you have to get out. It’s possible to continue doing it any which way for many years and keep your head above water, but typically the latter two are the more sustainable. The intensity of that usually depends, from most to least, on this order: intravenous (needles), smoking, insufflation (snorting), and oral (pills). Downward spirals come in all shapes and sizes, but with this drug, they’re typically happening even if you’re not cognizant of it. If, when, and how quickly you hit rock bottom can be affected by your method of ingestion. That level of desire can lead people to some weird, weird places. I became insatiable, to the extent it was almost life-consuming. The fact is, this shit doesn’t care about your gender or sexuality.
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The cliche used to be gay guys getting down while high – often unprotected. This one is probably not unheard of to most. Many will have zero desire to drink while high, and consider mixing to be “wasting the high.” This logic makes perfect sense at the time. If you’re like me and some others, you find it easy to develop a dual-addiction such as the devil’s water or any other number of opiates or depressants in order to “balance out” (a myth) or “come down.” Now, the catch is that the other half of your tweaker brethren find this absolutely maddening. There’s quite a divergence in the tweaker population regarding booze. Your sweat (and even hair) develops this very distinct, unnatural scent. Along with the sweating, you’re basically never going to feel clean.
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I know the general association is with sores and skin picking, but the more common reality is this…paradox…in which your upper layer is simultaneously dry and vaguely slimey. Using meth on a regular basis has this very unique, and entirely unpleasant, effect on your epidermis. Also, ‘PnP’ refers to ‘party n play,’ which typically involves getting together for some extended kinky hijinks in a motel room and sharing your drug stash along with the lube and bodily fluids. ‘Tina’ might be your aunt’s name, but it’s also short for crystal meth (Christina. I felt pretty lame when – after a couple months of exchanging ‘partying’ in conversation – I had it pointed out that this referred to the act of being on a speed bender, or simply using speed in general. When your meth friends use the term “party,” they do not mean the act of going out for a night on the town.